The Cost of Conversation
Communication. Conversation. Dialogue. Just this morning one of my clients asked me – in a fit of frustration – why her leadership team was having the same conversations over and over again. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever had your words twisted, regretted something you didn’t say, realized something you should have said, or simply bemoaned a particularly painful conversational dynamic? If not…I’m sorry to break it to you…you’re not human. You must be part of some super-human alien race that miraculously figured out how to send and receive unfiltered messages and convey meaning precisely as you intended it to be conveyed. If you can relate, you have a lot of learning to do. Ah – the joy of being human. So…what do we do about the fact that 9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark? How do we reduce misunderstanding and remove communication barriers? What do “highly effective communicators” do to produce such remarkable results? And do you want to join their ranks? If you’re tired of circular conversations, pointless meetings, and hollow words, I invite you to become part of the solution.
Do whatever you need to do to overcome “the grand illusion” – that the way you see it is the way it is. The way you see it is the way YOU see it. No one else sees it the same way. To shift a conversation from advocacy to genuine inquiry, start letting go of what YOU see and looking for what others see.
Say more about the things you don’t want to talk about and less about the things you do. Stop wasting time saying the same things over and over, and start investing time in the conversations you’re missing. ‘Missing conversations’ often involve things that seem too obvious to say, topics that others also want to avoid, and matters that trigger negative emotions.
Consider the cost of every conversation. Any conversation that isn’t working for you is working against you. Don’t settle for less-than-stellar conversational dynamics. Set your bar higher. Ask yourself, “why am I talking?!?” (aka, WAIT?!?). Call out conversational norms and challenge the group to change them. If necessary seek the help of a coach or facilitator.
Do I have all the answers? Of course not. There is no magic bullet. Communication isn’t a problem to be solved, it’s a complex system that requires continuous learning, growing, and evolution. If you want to evolve your leadership conversations to the next level, join me for a free webinar on Thursday, February 23 at 9AM EST. Click here to register. Better yet, treat yourself to a highly personalized, strengths-based, and active learning experience: Register for the SOAR Leadership Retreat, April 4 to 7 at Lansdowne Resort near Leesburg, VA.
